Dobby and the Kitchen
by Whouffle-Shipper-Forever
Summary: <html><head></head>Harry Potter AU. Lucius Malfoy is a Food Tech teacher in a normal muggle secondary school. The Technician is his House Elf Dobby. What happens when all the Pumpkin Pasties go missing? Warning: Some violence and cruelty. Dobby x Lucius</html>


**Hello! This is a parody of Food Tech in my school :) Hope you enjoy reading it, it's just a bit of a laugh between me and my friends really. I think it's amazing :P**

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><p><span><strong>Dobby and the Kitchen<strong>

The Food Tech room was always silent at lunchtimes. The Food Tech teacher, Lucius Malfoy, was always up in the staff room, scoffing his face with the food he's made the lesson before for his class demonstration. Dobby, the technician, was usually in the chicken pen, searching for grain to fulfill his hunger.

Earlier that morning, Lucius had supervised a practical lesson. The Year 7 class were frantically making Pumpkin Pasties, trying to do their best, in fear that they would be whipped by their teacher. Lucius despised Year 7s. He though that they were no good at his subject. He glowered at them with hatred in his eyes, as they rushed around the room. He found pleasure in screaming at every one at them, feeling satisfied whenever they started crying.

At the end of the lesson, the students left their Pumpkin Pasties on the windowsill to cool down, before running out of the room.

But now, there was no sound in the room, apart from the dripping of a tap. That silence, however, was interrupted by the unlocking of the door, which was followed by its opening. Two Year 10 students creeped in, whispering among themselves.

"Crabbe, you can have the ones on that side. I'll take these ones," one of the students said, pointing towards the windowsill.

Both students made their way towards the windowsill, and when they got there, began to stuff their faces with the Pumpkin Pasties the Year 7s had made the previous morning. They ate and ate until there were five pasties left.

At that moment, the two boys heard the voice of Dobby discussing lesson plans down the corridor.

"Quick, we need to get out of here!" Crabbe exclaimed, shoving the remaining pasties into a sack. Goyle pointed out the fire exit, and within seconds, they were gone, leaving the Food Tech room in silence again.

A few seconds later, Lucius and Dobby entered to Food Tech room.

"It's revolting! How am I supposed to teach the art of Food Technology to such apes?! I honestly don't see why Year 7 should even have this subject, because frankly, they just can't handle it." Lucius said stubbornly as he sat down at his desk. He gazed around the room sensing that something was wrong. When his eyes met the windowsill, they widened in shock.

"Dobby, come here at once!" Lucius shouted to the house elf, even though he was only standing a meter away.

"Yes, master?" The house elf said, bowing.

"Where are the Pumpkin Pasties my Year 7s painfully made earlier?" he asked menacingly.

Dobby glanced at the windowsill and gasped at its emptiness. "Oh, master, Dobby has no idea!" He squeaked.

"DON'T LIE TO ME! Is your grain not enough? You should know that you are forbidden to eat our food!"

"Dobby did not touch any food, master. Dobby was looking for grain when you called," the house elf said innocently.

"You stupid, little shit! You should be respecting me! Your lying will not go unpunished!" Lucius cried, picking up the House Elf by his ear and spinning him in the air. After a few seconds, he let go and Dobby went flying across the room, hitting the window.

Dobby cried out in pain, when Lucius went into the cupboard and came out holding a bottle of Mr Muscle.

"Dobby, you need to be cleansed of your sins," Lucius said, holding up the bottle, ready to spray.

"No, master! Dobby has no sins! Dobby is a good e-"

But the House Elf's words were drowned out by the multi-surface spray on his face. Lucius had no mercy; he kept spraying until the bottle was empty. Dobby was lying on the windowsill, drenched in Mr Muscle.

Then Lucius picked him up and threw him to the floor once more.

"I hope you have learnt your lesson, Dobby," Lucius said.

"Yes, master," Dobby squeaked.

"Just one more thing," Lucius said, before kicking the House Elf in the stomach. "One for luck."

That was when the Year 7s came in. They all looked in horror as their Technician lay on the floor. Lucius stared at them, with the usual hatred gleaming in his eyes.

"You didn't see anything, children. Now get out! Your pasties are gone! Eaten by this pile of shit!" Lucius said, pointing at Dobby.

The Year 7s ran out of the room as quickly as they could, never looking back once.

Lucius looked down at Dobby, laughing.

"Did you know, Dobby, that Dobby is not your birth name?" Lucius asked, leaning on his desk.

"Master?"

"Your real name is Sue."

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><p><strong>Sue... :'D<strong>


End file.
